A pat on the back and a kick in the butt are the same.

Sometimes, it is impossible to distinguish between a pat on the back and a kick in the butt. After all they are not too far apart on the human anatomy. For example, the back runs nearly into the butt. Further, I have often gone into a meeting with someone contemplating a pat on the back and received a kick in the butt. The reverse has happened too. The other day I had one of my invoices reviewed by a client. 

I thought I had provided a marvelous service and a pat on the back was clearly in order. I was wrong. The pat turned into a kick and the anatomical location was altered also. After giving it some thought, I elected not to take offense at the kick and thoughtfully considered that the kick was deserved. I should have  been more thoughtful and managed expectations better.

And that is the whole point. Typically if you get a surprise kick rather than a needed pat, it is rooted in expectations. On the other hand because a kick and a pat are so close together, maybe you got one  thinking it was the other, or vice versa. It really is in the feelings of the receiver.

I always accept a pat on the back and a pat on the butt to be equal.