National Complainers Day

Give this some thought. I am a complainer.

I complain about food, service, poorly designed products and just about anything that is not perfect, in my humble, but accurate estimation. I frequently write letters of complaint and receive apologies and coupons in the mail. I recently complained about the service at a Marriott hotel and received a letter of apology and $100 for purchasing more Marriott services. I also recently complained about US Air and received a letter of apology and a coupon for a $100 discount on my next US Air flight.  From time to time, I have complained about the federal government, but I have never even received a reply.

I should complain about the standardization of the complaint response process. For example, the apology letters all seem written by the same person and the benchmark complaint response coupon is always between $50 and $100. I have never received more than $100 and never less than $50. I have tried short and long complaint letters with various degrees of dissatisfaction and different types of complaints, ranging from egregious personal offenses to minor infractions, and the responses are all the same - "Please accept our apology for your inconvenience. Here is $50 or $100."

A friend of mine is a professional complainer. He carries a pocket recorder and dictates letters of complaint with names, dates, complaint details and places. He always manages to find something wrong with just about everything. He had discount coupons for everything. On another occasion, a friend of mine and I were at the same hotel and experienced the same unsatisfactory service at the hotel restaurant. We both complained. He complained to the local hotel and I complained to the corporate office. I received $80. He received $50, but the letters to both of us were almost identical.

I am an advocate of complaining. It is one of the few actions that is not covered by government regulations. I often complain that people do not complain enough. Companies that provide sloppy services or products deserve to know how you feel.  When the server at the restaurant asks, "How was your dinner?" I assume it was a genuine request for feedback and the inquiry deserves more than just a perfunctory, "It was fine." For me, it is not rude to reply, "My steak was overcooked and the bread was stale." Despite my inability to often deliver the message in an amicable way, I make no apologies for complaining. I refuse to pay good money for bad food.

I salute the complainers. - those  thankless people who speak up for the rest of us. I inaugurate today as National Complainers Day. Today, complain about everything that is wrong. If you do not, it will not get any better.

I for one intend to make this day an opportunity to change the world with constructive complaints. No joke.